I was doing my usual, early a.m. blog surfing today, and ran into this “Dear Abby” column over at Philly.com:

DEAR ABBY: I am slightly overweight and want to lose 5 to 10 pounds. I admittedly have little self-control and always eat whatever is put in front of me.

My problem is, my wife continues to stock cookies, ice cream and other goodies in the house. Even though I have asked her on many occasions to stop, she refuses to honor my requests. She says “the kids” shouldn’t have to suffer because of my lack of self-control. Abby, I’d like our kids to eat better, too. What should I do?

I’d hate to split up over this issue because we have preteens and everything else is going well.

- Frustrated in San Diego

DEAR FRUSTRATED: The print and television media have, for some time, been filled with stories about the importance of children learning healthy eating habits and urging parents to not only stock the fridge and pantry with healthy snacks, but also to set a good example.

Your wife may have missed all of this, or she may have some ulterior motive for making sure you don’t lose the weight. Should this end an otherwise good marriage?

No, but please understand that if you do not draw the line, your children may also wind up paying the price.

Aaarrgh! Is this a pointless response or what?  What does she mean by “drawing the line”?  What sort of actions does she think he should take?  How do they differ from what he’s doing now?

Must be nice to get paid for dispensing perfectly useless “advice”.  This isn’t about the kids.  It’s about two grown-ups acting like kids.

I think I can do better.  Here goes:

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And it’s not a pretty sight. I think his article in the LA Times, on the recent White House “Healthy Kids Fair,” was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but it failed… both as humor and reporting.  The problem?  Malcolm evidently couldn’t decide who he has more contempt for… Michelle Obama for using her position to promote healthy living, or overweight/obese Americans, whose “…flabby thighs are hidden by their drooping stomachs.”
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…according to a recent study. As reported at MSNBC.com:

At last, good news for anyone who ever despaired of fitting into skinny jeans: Thin thighs might actually kill you. Or at least put a strain on your heart.

That’s the word from Danish researchers who studied more than 2,800 middle-aged people for up to a dozen years, only to find that those with the slimmest thighs had the highest chance of heart disease and premature death.

“There was up to a double risk for the people with the smallest thighs,” said Dr. Berit L. Heitmann, a director of research at Copenhagen University Hospital in Denmark. “It’s quite substantial.”

People whose thighs measured less than 60 centimeters, or about 23.6 inches in circumference, were in trouble. And those with stick-thin gams (less than 18 inches around) were at the greatest risk, according to new study in the online version of the British Medical Journal.

…“Typically a 23.6-inch thigh on a female would be a size 6 to 8,” said Greg Benson, president of the International Sports and Fitness Trainers Association.

My left and right thighs are 51 and 52 centimeters, respectively… So evidently I’m doooooomed!!!

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I’ve read this article on obesity by NYT columnist David Leonhardt so you don’t have to.  Here’s the short version:

“There’s an obesity crisis and the government needs to do something about it.”

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I’d like to think that this article from the New York Times “Fashion & Style” section is intended to be humorous…

THIS summer the unvarying male uniform in the precincts of Brooklyn cool has been a pair of shorts cut at knickers length, a V-neck Hanes T-shirt, a pair of generic slip-on sneakers and a straw fedora. Add a leather cuff bracelet if the coolster is gay.

In truth this get-up was pretty much the unvarying male uniform last summer also, but this year an unexpected element has been added to the look, and that is a burgeoning potbelly one might term the Ralph Kramden.

Too pronounced to be blamed on the slouchy cut of a T-shirt, too modest in size to be termed a proper beer gut, developed too young to come under the heading of a paunch, the Ralph Kramden is everywhere to be seen lately, or at least it is in the vicinity of the Brooklyn Flea in Fort Greene, the McCarren Park Greenmarket and pretty much any place one is apt to encounter fans of Grizzly Bear.

What the trucker cap and wallet chain were to hipsters of a moment ago, the Kramden is to what my colleague Mike Albo refers to as the “coolios” of now. Leading with a belly is a male privilege of long standing, of course, a symbol of prosperity in most cultures and of freedom from anxieties about body image that have plagued women since Eve.

…but the humor is lost on me.  I know plenty of guys in the gym who don’t have washboard abs – it’s definitely a “problem area” for men (much like “thunder thighs” are for women). Many of them are fairly fit and strong, however: it shows in their arms, shoulders and chests.  By contrast, the bodies pictured in this article not only have obvious guts… they also have nondescript arms and pecs.  In other words, these “hipsters” are soft, flabby, weak and unfit – and there’s NOTHING “coolio” about that.

Urrrrghhh…

That’s what I felt about this article in Time, “Why Exercise Won’t Make You Thin“, by John Cloud.  It’s 4 pages long, but these two paras tell you all you need to know:

“More than 45 million Americans now belong to a health club, up from 23 million in 1993. We spend some $19 billion a year on gym memberships. Of course, some people join and never go. Still, as one major study — the Minnesota Heart Survey — found, more of us at least say we exercise regularly. The survey ran from 1980, when only 47% of respondents said they engaged in regular exercise, to 2000, when the figure had grown to 57%.

And yet obesity figures have risen dramatically in the same period: a third of Americans are obese, and another third count as overweight by the Federal Government’s definition. Yes, it’s entirely possible that those of us who regularly go to the gym would weigh even more if we exercised less. But like many other people, I get hungry after I exercise, so I often eat more on the days I work out than on the days I don’t. Could exercise actually be keeping me from losing weight?

When I read this, my initial response was, “WTF???”  Even the researchers he quotes, Eric Ravussin and Timothy Church, don’t go that far.  Is he serious?

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I admit it… a few months back, I took the stupid Real Age quiz.  So now I’m the lucky recipient of the Real Age “Tips of the Week” – a weekly newsletter with links to articles on fitness/nutrition.  Most of the time, I just scan ’em and hit “delete”, although I do click on a few provocative-looking links every once in a while, just to see what they’re all about.

In fact, I did that just a few minutes ago, when a new edition showed up in my e-mail.  This was the link that caught my eye:

Try This Noodle for Better Blood Pressure
Pasta salad. Summer isn’t complete without it. And here’s the noodle you should use to do your blood pressure some good at the same time . . .

Ok, I’m not a big pasta eater, but I was curious to see what this was about… it made me wonder if there was some new variety on the market with beneficial effects on blood pressure.

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Sigh…

Just got through eyeballing an LA Times article “Here’s what’s in those weight-loss supplements“.  As is often the case, it’s one of those semi-factual hatchet jobs we’ve all come to know and expect from the mainstream media.

This para was a real standout…

The labels rarely clarify the contents. Where details and dosages are provided at all, they are frequently presented as a bewildering mix of Latin plant names, trademarked monikers for a company’s own mix of ingredients and, often, invented words that sound scientific but mean nothing to chemists or pharmacologists. Hydroxycut’s “Hardcore,” for instance, touts its “norepidrol intensity focus blend” as an aid to focus and attention. Another supplement, TheraStress, declares that its active compound of “adaptogens” helps fight weight gain brought on by stress.

For consumers seeking full disclosure, these labels may as well declare the product is made of genuine atoms.

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 Ah, Martica, Martica, Martica…

There are times when I think that maybe I pick on Martica Heaner a little too much: after all, she gives out lots of sensible advice, too.  My problem with her, however, is that even the sensible stuff is conventional and unimaginative…  She writes well enough, but her “Expert Advice” column sometimes reads like she’s just phoning it in.  This is true for a lot of “experts” I suppose, but her high-profile gig at MSN.com sorta makes her a target.  When people write in, looking for guidance – and then don’t get the care and attention they deserve – it kinda sets me off.

Today’s featured column is a perfect example.  Here’s the question:

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The health/fitness supplement industry has an uneasy relationship with the FDA – to say the least.  Thus, it was no surprise to see a link to this news item getting passed around, so people could have a laugh at the agency’s expense…

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I happened to read Martica Heaner’s column, “Expert Advice” on MSN.com this morning.  It wasn’t bad at all… In fact, I thought her article, ”Do Exercise and Nutrition Affect How Old You Look?“, was a pretty decent rundown on the effects of exercise (and secondarily, nutrition) on the aging process.

Nonetheless, it reminded me of a line I recall from Babylon 5: “Unfortunately, while all answers are replies, not all replies are answers.”  As usual, Heaner led off with a reader’s question..but her reply was definitely NOT an answer.

Here’s the original question:

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Yeah, I know…it’s a real eye-roller.  Nonetheless, people do fall for gimmicks like this, especially when the products are attractively packaged and the ad spiels are dressed up with sciency-sounding explanations about transdermal absorption of “clinically proven” ingredients.

Thus, I was prepared to high-five an article in the L.A. Times: “A Little Lip Gloss, a Little Weight Loss” by Alexandra Drosu.  I clicked on the link the minute I saw it…under the assumption that an article printed in a major American newspaper would take a skeptical approach.  After all, reporters are supposed to do some investigative leg work, and provide some analysis…right?

More fool me…

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…are another reason I dislike women’s mags.

I was drawn over to Glamour.com this morning, after reading a blog post mocking a ditzy article of theirs. I lost interest in the targeted article (about finding the right cocktail dress for your shape) pretty quickly, though, since a) I can count the number of times I’ve worn a cocktail dress over the last decade on the fingers of one hand; and b) some of those so-called “inspirational” dresses looked like they should be accessorized with “Trick or Treat” bags…even if I had the $$$, I’d pass.

In other words, it was the typical “wimmin’s mag” bushwa… But while I was there, I decided to check out the fitness/nutrition info. In particular, since I’m “in” to fitness toys (like push up bars, door gym, weighted hula hoop, weighted vest, TRX suspension trainer), I zeroed in on an article link: “The 5 Fitness Products Every Woman Should Own” – to see what I might be missing.

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…is captured in a slide show – “10 Reasons You’re Not Losing That Weight” –  from “Women’s Health.” 

For starters, it was trite and poorly thought out… For example:

Roadblock number 1: Always a go-getter, you work out at 6 a.m.

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Ok, not really…the presentation is actually titled “Top 10: Subtle Ways To Tell Her She’s Getting Fat.” 

All I can say is: EPIC FAIL.  It’s not funny, nor is the “advice” likely to be effective.

Problem is, these “tips” are anything BUT subtle…they range from insulting (buying her “clothes that are obviously too small”), to annoying (continually pinching her “love handles”) to sadistic (sabotage her chair so it breaks when she sits down on it).

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I’m sure you’ve all heard about the recent study on alcohol intake and the risk of cancer in women.  Here’s a representative sample of the media coverage…

Feb. 24, 2009 — Women who drink as little as one alcoholic beverage a day — be it beer, wine, or hard liquor — have an increased  cancer risk, a study shows.

Researchers followed more than 1.2 million middle-aged women for an average of seven years. The women were participants in the ongoing Million Women Study in the U.K.

Those who drank alcohol consumed on average one drink a day. These women had an increased cancer risk with increasing alcohol intake, especially for cancers of the breast, liver, rectum, mouth, throat, and esophagus.

Based on their findings, the researchers estimated that alcohol could be to blame for 13% of these cancers in women.

The link between alcohol and breast cancer has been extensively researched and reported on, but the study is among the first to link low-to-moderate alcohol consumption to other cancers in women.

“There were no minimum levels of alcohol consumption that could be considered to be without risk,” cancer epidemiologist and study researcher Naomi Allen, DPhil, of the University of Oxford, tells WebMD.

Scary stuff, eh?

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Although my bio on the “About Us” page doesn’t mention it directly, I have an M.S. degree in Food Science from the University of California (Davis).  Most people I talk to assume “Food Science” = “nutrition” - but they couldn’t be more wrong…it’s about food technology.  As I once described it to a mechanic (who was confused by the concept), Food Science teaches you how to turn an ear of corn into a box of Corn Flakes, and ensure that every single box of Corn Flakes looks, tastes and crunches exactly like every other box. 

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I’m sure you’ve seen the news about the latest study on multivitamins, and how they don’t prevent cancer or CVD in older women.

I’m ok with that…

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I have to admit, I got a bit of a chuckle out of a recent article by Debora Yost, entitled “Inaugural Luncheon No Model for Healthy Eating.”  Take it away, Deb…

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2009 is still young, but I already have one candidate for “Stupidest Food Article of the Year” on my screen: “Cheese – It’s Grosser than You Thought” over on msnbc.com.

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