I’m currently working on a review of Hemo-Rage – Nutrex’s contribution to the pre-workout supplement market.  To be honest, I couldn’t help comparing this:

Nutrex takes pre-workout supplementation to another level. Beyond extreme, beyond hardcore.

From the UNDERGROUND we bring you HEMO-RAGE Black one of the meanest, strongest and cruelest pre-workout detonator this planet has ever seen. We went down to the laboratory and cooked up one of the most vicious blends of raging energy inducing, strength signaling, blood volume expanding, pump activating, extreme focus enhancing, fat detonating and muscle building compounds imaginable. This wicked formula operates in a territory no other pre-workout supplement has ever dared to go. In fact we needed extra insurance to be able to bring this explosive concoction to you. HEMO-RAGE Black gets you ready for battle when you hit the dungeon for an all-out war with the weights. Welcome to the UNDERGROUND!

Make no mistake about it HEMO-RAGE Black is not for wimps. It is a dead serious pre-workout product. If you have reached a plateau and are looking for something to take your progress & workout intensity to a whole new level we dare you to uncage your inner rage with HEMO-RAGE Black. Just try one full UNDERGROUND dose and you will never want to go back to whatever pre-workout formula you are on right now!

• Wicked Pumps
• Insane Strength
• Raging Energy
• Unparalleled Size

To this:
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Ah, the weird things you find on the internet. Via BoingBoing.net:

i-ramen.net is an amazingly meticulous web site that chronicles one man’s daily consumption of different kinds of instant noodles since 1997. It appears from the way they’re numbered that he is now on his 4,308th bowl. For each new type of instant noodle, he creates a thorough chart that includes a full ingredients list; comments on texture, flavor, quantity, and price; and a starred rating.

It’s in Japanese, so it’s tough to read… but the YouTube channel tells you pretty much all you need to know.

I thought this was a fitting tribute to ButchBakery.com, the makers of “manly cupcakes for manly men.”

In a way… From GlaxoSmithKline’s site for Alli:

break a bad pattern of eating

alli helps you change your approach to food by teaching you to recognize emotional eating and dismantle your external hunger triggers.  With the alli plan, you’ll learn how to control your cravings and still enjoy the foods you love. You’ll establish a healthier approach to food.

As Douglas Farrago, MD of the Placebo Journal put it:

The new slogan for the Alli diet plan goes like:

It’s called mindless eating. See how you can control it with Alli.

For those that don’t know how the drug works (fat absorption), if you are not mindful and overdo the fat in your diet you will, well, smudge yourself. So I guess this truly is a truth in advertising. Be mindful of what you eat or the next time you reach for the pork chops across the table it may look like you sat on a brownie when you change your draws later on. Okay, I think Larry the Cable Guy came up with that joke first.

Yeah, I guess the threat of “anal leakage*” will teach you to “dismantle your external hunger triggers” and “control your cravings” pretty quickly. But – at least in my mind – this isn’t exactly an ideal approach to the problem.

(h/t Placebo Journal Blog)

*GlaxoSmithKline delicately refers to this as a “treatment effect” on their consumer site.

Introducing the RipTFusion, “the revolutionary torso enhancing undershirt.”

And no, I don’t believe in Spanx for wimmin, either.  What’s the point in pretending to have a better body than you really do? If you need “body shaping” undergarments to look good in clothes, then it’s time to hit the gym.

Ok, this covers a variety of “beauty” contraptions, but it’s still amusing…

My girlfriend and I were both stricken by the darn flu virus this week. Not surprising then, that we spent a good chunk of time huddled feverishly in blankets, sipping NeoCitran and watching T.V.

At one point during a commercial break, I became alarmed and had to scrabbled feverishly for my thermometer. What I  had just witnessed convinced me that I had descended into a state of delirium brought on by an upward-surging of my temperature. Surely I was seeing things? Drifting in and out of consciousness? Perhaps hovering in an altered state of consciousness, trapped somewhere between fever-inspired dreams and reality?

Nope.

Apparently, Kellog’s Fruit Loops are now an even more healthful way to start the morning, thanks to added fiber. Yep, it’s true. Fruit Loops are nutritious. Don’t believe me? See for yourself…

I ain’t bloggin’ on my birthday.   But I’ll leave you with my favorite, “wish-I’d-thought-of-that” birthday greeting:

Birthday Greetings from Joe Cocker from Jared Pike on Vimeo.

Deep fried butter????

Ewwwwww!!!!

Ok, science reporting isn’t always this bad, but there’s some stuff that comes close…

No… it’s not a joke.

When we ran across an e-mail about a new weight loss product, we thought it had to be a joke — a knife and fork that weigh 1½ pounds each, the better to make you eat more slowly? Seriously?

This is quite serious, according to the Knife and Fork Lift’s inventor, Tom Madden. “Everybody approaches it as a joke,” he said, “but when you think about it, it does require you to eat more slowly.” Eating more slowly, say health experts, allows the brain time to register feelings of satiety, resulting in eating less.

The idea sprung from Madden’s own frustrating attempts, and those of his friends, at sticking with diets. “I’m always trying to lose a few pounds, and all the diets everyone has tried to my knowledge have failed. I thought, maybe I could make it more difficult to eat, and slow the process down.” Madden is the founder and chief executive of TransMedia Group, a Boca Raton, La.-based public relations firm.

He came up with a knife and fork encased in a dumbbell-shaped handle, several times the weight of most knives and forks. But he didn’t think this could be the next big thing since the Snuggie when he sent an early version to a friend — who loved it. “He said it was the most unique, creative, imaginative present someone had sent him,” Madden said. “And I thought, let’s make some more of these.”

For what it’s worth, I’ve written about the link between eating quickly and obesity before, so I can appreciate what Mr. Madden is trying to accomplish here.  But there’s no need to invest in…errr… creative (and somewhat pricey) silverware, when – at least for most Westerners - eating with a pair of chopsticks will do much the same thing.

I’ll give Mr. Madden points for ingenuity, however:  I expect the Knife and Fork Lift would make a great gag gift – for either the dieters or weightlifters in your life.

OMG.

Who’d have guessed a simple surfing session would uncover the world’s most effective appetite suppressant.

I’d never have guessed it myself.

Blech.

As you can see, it’s already been established that bananas don’t make good weapons.

About a month or so back, I reported on my experience with a McDonald’s grilled chicken salad. It was truly the most pathetic salad I have ever encountered and still remains so. I was most disappointed at the effort Mickey-Dees was making in providing real alternatives to the usual high-calorie, high fat offerings. The salad was, plain and simple, a joke.

At the time, I remembered Wendy’s competitive offerings in a much more favorable light. Well, guess what? A recent road trip forced me to stop at a highway rest stop for sustenance.

And as luck would have it, this one featured a Wendy’s.

Game on!

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You can find the damndest things on the internet.  My husband recently stumbled over this site, aptly titled “This Is Why You’re Fat” – which consists entirely of photos of food.  But not just any food… absolutely grotesque, greasy/gooey food.  He was laughing his a** off when he waved me over: “You HAVE to see this!”

Ewwwwwwwww.

Did the people who submitted these photos actually EAT that stuff?  I’d like to think it’s simply an elaborate gag (I’m gagging already), although some of the dishes look like they’re real enough.

Why anyone would devote a web site to pics of gross food is a mystery to me… some folks just have too much time on their hands, I guess.

Fort Pierce woman calls 911 three times when McNuggets run out.

I’m amazed she wasn’t prosecuted for this…the guy who recently called 911 after Burger King ran out of lemonade was.

I work in the health/fitness/bodybuilding industry, and I’m in contact with others who share my interests (to varying degrees) 7 days a week…thus, I’m pretty immersed in the issues and events relevant to my field.

Like the Arnold Classic, for example… Since supplements are my game, it’s a natural place for me to be, as virtually every sports supp company in existence puts in an appearance.  This is understandable, as it’s quite a show.  In addition to the other sports contests, the Arnold is one of the two biggest pro bodybuilding competitions in the US (the other is the Olympia in Las Vegas).  And, since it’s named for world-famous bodybuilder/actor (and now politician) Arnold Schwarzenegger, I just assumed that EVERYBODY knows about it…right?

NOT…

Nick had an orthodonist appointment the other day, so - as usual – I chatted w/the office staff while I waited for her.  We needed to set a followup appointment date for early March, and – since we’re off to the Arnold on the 5th – I told them to make it the week of the 8th – after we return.  The gals sounded interested in the trip and asked about the details, but looked pretty puzzled at my comment about bringing back a big sack of supp samples to review.  As it turned out, they’d been assuming that “Arnold” referred to Arnold Palmer, and the “Arnold Classic” was a golf tournament.

An amusing moment, and a good reminder that I need to get out into the “real world” a little more often…

It’s an all-natural health drink from India.  The manufacturer claims it “…offers a cure for around 70 to 80 incurable diseases like diabetes.” 

Sound good?

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As a student of human nature, as well as a de-facto health/nutrition advocate, I’ve always been intrigued by the way our society views food.  In many ways, our food choices and eating behaviors are increasingly divorced from the reality of what food is, and what eating is supposed to accomplish. 

I’m not trying to be a killjoy: in fact, I’m a firm believer in “eat, drink and be merry.”  Food has a sensual side, and I’ve always made room for some indulgences, both in my selection of foods, as well as the ways I eat them.  Food also plays important social roles: put 10 people in a room, and you have a group; add hors d’oeuvres, and you’ve got a party.  Works for me.

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I have kids, so naturally, I’ve seen a lot of kids’ movies.  These have varied in quality…most have been in the forgettable-to-annoying range, although there were also a few I’ve actually enjoyed (Toy Story and Shrek come to mind, here).

I’d include “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” in the latter group: not perfect, but it had its moments of inspired insanity and dark humor.  And, of course, it has a cool premise: wouldn’t it be awesome to find a golden ticket in a candy bar, and visit a fantastic place where everything around you was made from chocolate?

The beauty of the chocolate factory in the movie, however, was that it was big, and lots of things were going on…there was more to it than just oohing and aahing over the chocolate.  The chocolate was just the backdrop for the action, not the focus of the plot.  It would have been a dull flick, otherwise. 

Which is why this publicity stunt seems like a perfectly dumb idea…

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