I had an interesting conversation with my teenaged daughter after I picked her up from school the other day.  In her health class, her (male) teacher introduced a unit on “relationships,” and apparently presented the kids with an array of male vs. female stereotypes that (allegedly) play roles in how/why relationships succeed (or don’t, as the case may be).  Nick was, understandably, a little hot-under-the-collar, as she, personally, doesn’t engage in most of the ”girl” behaviors he identified, such as “trying on every outfit in the store, then leaving without buying anything.” Rather, she behaves like the “goal-oriented” boys, who evidently stride purposefully into the store, try on one shirt, then pick out 4 others in the same size and leave (actually, this is something I do too ;-) ).

I could sympathize: nothing like having someone who barely knows you, tell you what you’re like.  It’s merely annoying if they’re right; but unforgiveably arrogant when they’re wrong…but convinced they’re right.  

The coup de grâce was a statistic she “learned” that day: according to her teacher, boys use only about 12,000 words/day, while girls use twice as many (i.e., 24,000).  Naturally, she asked me if it was true.

“That’s flatly untrue,” I said.  “Research has shown that there’s no significant difference in the number of words used by women vs. men, and I can show you a recent study to prove it.” 

I even sent a link of the study to the teacher, who responded with a lame-ass excuse:

“I received the information from a marriage counseling class prior to getting married.  It was a presentation that put some of the relationship issues in a humorous, but understandable way…I have outlined with the students that it is simply a way to understand that differences do exist.  With so much divorce and single parent homes today, I feel that helping students be aware of these things are important.  We are talking about relationships, family and sexuality in this unit.”

So lemme get this straight: passing along false information from an anecdotal (and dated source) serves a higher purpose, as it’s a way to understand that “differences do exist.”  And – it’s humorous too!

My reply was rather pointed…he has yet to respond (which doesn’t surprise me, really). 

Do differences exist?  Of course they do, but the overlap between male and female behavior strikes me as pretty large: for every behavior or trait allegedly “belonging” to one sex, I can come up with examples of the same behavior, exhibited by the so-called “opposite” sex.  That’s why stereotypes are pointless…we are more alike than we are different.  

And that includes our dieting/eating behavior too…which is why reading this article by Denise Foley, the editor-at-large of Prevention Magazine, was the literary equivalent of fingernails scratching on a chalkboard.

The bad habits guys overcome (beer and chips) seem to result in instant weight loss, while ours (mistaking a box of Ring Dings for a therapist) seem too emotionally hardwired to short-circuit. Finally, in the gym, they grab the big, macho barbells and do routines that make them grunt. Our weights tend to be pink…and puny.

 But all is not, ahem, lost. We women may never have the biological or psychological weight loss advantages men enjoy, but we are clever enough to learn new tricks. In other words, if there’s no way to beat them at the dieting game, we might as well join them. Here are five guy habits that can help you lose weight–and keep it off. Happily, none of them involves testosterone.

Sorry, I work on a fat loss forum.  The men there seem to struggle with the battle of the bulge almost as much as the women do.  If it were really as easy as (temporarily) giving up beer and chips, we’d be seeing ripped, male Adonises all over the place.  Yes, men do have some size/strength/hormonal advantages when it comes to weight loss, but not as great as implied, and it varies a hell of a lot between individuals…in my family, for example, I’m the one with the rock hard abs – my husband (despite valiant efforts and no beer/chips) still has some very stubborn jiggly stuff to lose. 

But – like my daughter’s teacher – I suppose the author feels that resorting to stereotypes serves a higher purpose.  For example, one of the ”male” advantages is:

He doesn’t crave sweets

Both men and women have cravings, and no, he doesn’t have an easier time fighting them off. But your comfort food is likely to be chocolate, pudding, or a cheese Danish, while his is a thick, juicy steak. A recent Cornell University study found that women seek out sweets to ward off the blues; men turn to meat when they want to indulge. The weight loss advantage of his choice: It’s protein, which will help fill him up far better than your coffee cake. A study published last year by researchers at the University of Washington School of Medicine found that the secret weight loss weapon of low-carb diets is protein, because it promotes satiety, the scientific term for fullness, which curbs overeating.

Emphasis mine.

Is it true?  I was able to track down the study, which looked at (among other factors) the effect of gender on comfort food selection.  The study was based on a survey of 277 adults (81 men, 196 women), and divided their responses between “high-calorie sweet” (HCS), “high-calorie non-sweet” (HCNS) and “low-calorie” foods.  Here’s the actual gender breakdown of the responses:

Male Preferences: HCS – 34.7%; HCNS – 29.3%; LC – 36.0%
Female Preferences: HCS – 40.1%; HCNS – 24.6%; LC – 35.3%

Ok, so it’s true that a larger percentage of women preferred sweets (40.1%) than men (34.7%) but the difference just wasn’t that great, nor did it represent a majority of the respondents.  Thus, while snacking on protein vs. sweets, as the article suggests, is certainly a good idea..it’s hardly an exclusively male behavior. There’s a lot of overlap here between the sexes.

In other words, while this article contains some useful advice, the ”frame” sucks.  The author bashes women while purporting to help them…she can’t make her points without comparing women unfavorably to men across the board.   Men “don’t use food as a therapist;” men “take time for themselves” and “don’t dwell on things;” “men’s approach towards nutrition is uncomplicated and pleasure-oriented.”

Uh-huh.  Sing it Brother!

Ok…I confess.  There is one particular stereotype presented that is (somewhat) more accurate: in my experience, substantially more men than women do “go for weights with muscle.”  But the author can’t even get this one right…after giving some very general advice from fitness writer Lou Schuler, two (and only two) ”guy exercises for girls” (I had to clench my teeth to type that) are suggested:

Good Morning Works butt and legs Stand with feet a few inches apart, knees bent slightly. Hold two 10- to 15-pound dumbbells against your chest. With back flat and abs tight, slowly hinge forward at hips, lowering upper body while keeping back flat. Don’t go beyond parallel to the floor. Pause, then stand back up. Do three sets of 8 to 10 reps.

Dumbbell Clean and Press Works butt, legs, arms, and shoulders Start in a squat, feet shoulder-width apart and knees bent. Hold an 8- to 10-pound dumbbell in each hand, at sides, palms in. As you curl weights up to shoulders, straighten legs and rise up onto toes. Lower heels as you turn palms out and press weights overhead. Pause, then lower weights, return to starting position, and repeat. Do three sets of 8 to 10 reps.

Aaaargh!  I have nothing against doing either Good Mornings or Clean and Presses…but these aren’t the ways “guys” do them, and “guy” programs (which use the ”big macho barbells” that even I - with my girl muscles – can handle)  are much more intensive and comprehensive than this.  Notice how the tactic has shifted? Rather than suggesting that women emulate men and track down solid info on comprehensive strength training, the author lamely suggests a couple of watered-down, acceptably “girl” versions instead. 

So much for sisterhood.

Want some good diet/fitness advice?  If you’re a woman, do yourself a favor and a) pick up Lou Schuler’s book, “The New Rules of Lifting” (or the ”New Rules of Lifting for Wonen” if you prefer an explicitly women’s-themed book); and b) chuck your copy of Prevention in the trash, where it belongs.

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